


Incorrect Sanders Sides Quotes (Patch Note Version)

by NymeriaSparks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, REMUS IS HERE, kind of?, spoilers for Dealing With Intrusive thoughts?, this should be fun, yeet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2020-07-25 20:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20032018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NymeriaSparks/pseuds/NymeriaSparks
Summary: So basically my friend and I were laughing about PM Seymour's "Reading Patch Notes/Guess The Patch Note's Game" series and felt that some of these could be applied to the Sides. So, of course we decided to share some of the best of them (with the Sides). This is gonna be really chill, some of these might be putting the Sides in the situations, some might be quotes from the video, some might be them reacting to them, whatever we feel like. If we get tired of this we might extend this to just incorrect quotes or funny things, who knows?Here's the playlist if anyone's interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhLHXjZyr8I&list=PL6OP6QK0W_lhd8jB7PSlrzNILQ1y7H0Vq





	1. Chapter 1

**Patch note:** Cannibalism is harder on mood.

**Remus:** Maybe to you, plebeians.

\---

**Patch note:** New mental breaks. Insulting spree: Randomly go around and insult people. Targeted insulting spree: Follow around a specific other colonist, insulting them repeatedly.

**Virgil:** Princey, are you okay?

\---

**Patch note: **No longer possible to sacrifice the same person to Satan multiple times.

**Remus:** _cursing his brains out_

**Logan:** What's wrong? Remus: I CAN;T SACRIFICE ROMAN TO SATAN AGAIN

**Virgil: **_without missing a beat_: It's got a 5 minute cool-down, just wait it out.

\---

**Thomas:** So, we fixed bug where characters spin with highly enthusiastic anger when they forget how to use a door-

**Logan****:** THANK GOODNESS.

\---

**Virgil:** The bucket is no longer hostile to peacekeepers (thanks to Patton).

\---

**Patch Note****:** Fixed! Employees no longer show up to work furious for no reason.

**Virgil, on 5 cups of coffee:** OH REALLY NOW.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again. XD  
A note that this chapter contains some characters that are not sides but are still from the Thomas Sanders universe.

**Thomas:** Sides should no longer have the rare chance of getting permanently stuck while socializing.

**Virgil:** DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH REMY CAN _TALK_?!

\---

**Virgil:** I tried to move the mini fridge to my room once so that I didn't have to see anyone because I was in the middle of a mental breakdown. _Never again_. When I opened it, the fish that Patton had put in there multiplied exponentially. I didn't get the smell out for _months_!

**Thomas:**

**Thomas:** Yeah we'll get right on fixing that...

\---

**Patton:** What happened here?

**Roman:** Uhh... Let's just say I got caught in the "grab a slice" interaction with these pizzas.

**Patton:** Oh dear... Alright then, Roman.

**Patton, three minutes after walking out of Roman's room: **THERE WERE FOUR PIZZAS, HOLD ON-

\---

**Logan:** Okay, so we fixed an issue where our relationships would break in Egypt, China, or France.

**Thomas****:** So that's why it didn't work out with hi-

**Logan:** Thomas, we are in Florida.

**Thomas:** ...Oh.

\---

**Patton:** So I heard about this new fix in the Mindscape where when adopting a dog, you can now see whether it is a Big or Little Dog!

**Logan:** It doesn't matter for us since you keep adopting them without telling us...

**Logan:** What's that moving in your pocket?

**Logan:** Patton.

\---

**Patton:** Children and Teens can no longer die from motive failure while on a Time Out.

**Patton:** That was for you, Roman.

**Roman:** *offended Princey noises* I am not a cHIL-

**Logan, in the corner****:** _<strike>Well, you act like one</strike>_

\---

**Virgil and Logan:** We fixed an issue that caused Unicorns to lose their special powers when using the Make All Happy cheat. 

**Roman:** Hold on, the what cheat?

\---

**Thomas:** Logan, you realise you are no longer required to attend graduation before putting yourself out since you are on fire, right?

**Logan:** _angrily muttering while grabbing a fire extinguisher_ The things I do for education-!

\---

**Thomas: **Hey Virge! We fixed that one issue where a demon eating a skewer of human skulls would unexpectedly dance when spoken to!

**Virgil:**

**Virgil: **Remus was choosing to do that but uh- Thanks?

\---


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little short, but enjoy! :J

**Deceit, texting Virgil:** Remus _didn't_ use his chaotic creative powers to make it so the refrigerator doesn't stab itself til someone uses it. He _isn't_ learning.  
  
**Virgil:**  
  
** Virgil:** Are you guys like... okay back there?  
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
**Thomas:** So, I think I've worked it so you guys can have princess hairstyles without your heads detaching!  
  
**Patton:** Roman is going to be so happy!  
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
**Patton, at a family meeting:** As we discussed in the last meeting, Welcome Wagon members will no longer barge into your house uninvited to welcome you until they are invited in.  
  
** Virgil:** THANK GOODNESS.  
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
** Roman, to Logan:** Let's go to my realm on an adventure!  
  
** Logan:** ...I will trust you this singular time. But I will NO-  
  
several hours later  
  
**Roman:** Fine. I fixed your necklace turning you into a frog way too often.  
  
**Logan:** _screaming_ IT WAS EVERY 30 MILLISECONDS!  
  
**Logan:** _ribbits_  
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
_During a family meeting_  
  
** Thomas:** _obviously done with life_ As per several requests, we've fixed an issue that resulted in people being endlessly dropped from the sky and back up again.  
  
**Remus, locked in a cage labeled "JAIL":** _disappointed_ Awwww come onnnn-  
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
**Logan: **_while on an adventure with Roman_** Which horse is mine?**  
  
** Roman: **Hmmm... Oh, this one, she's my favourite! Her name is Festivities!  
  
**Logan:** _while mounting the horse_ Why is she your favourite?  
  
**Roman:** _dying of laughter_  
  
**Logan:** _looks in mirror that Roman is holding for him_  
  
**Logan:** WHY AM I BALD  
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
**Thomas, exiting the courtroom, obviously frazzled:** To balance out my mood we added more despair and anger overall...  
  
**Deceit, walking out of the courtroom:** :)  
  
** Logan:** _Windows error noise_


	4. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :(

Sorry y'al!! I was a dumbass and forgot my login so it's been a while. Should I continue this or just give up? Lemme know in the comments!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! If you have any submissions or suggestions, feel free to leave a comment! :)


End file.
